Picking up the pieces

I've obviously been avoiding the blog lately. I've kind of been avoiding a lot of "daily life" during the past several days.
I've debated whether to blog about this or not, and I decided I will make this a pretty brief entry. It does save me from having to make a few more difficult phone calls or emails right now, and I am so very tired of/from explaining this. And bracing myself for the inevitable well-meant reactions, which just aren't sitting properly at the moment.
So, a week before Christmas, I found out I was pregnant. It was a pretty big surprise, but of course one we were thrilled about once we wrapped our heads around it. We went in for the 8-wk appointment a few weeks back, and we saw the baby's heartbeat. To me, before now, seeing the heartbeat has been the "whew" moment where everything is on track and the possibility of problems drops dramatically. There was a strange situation, but it apparently didn't affect the fetus and I really don't want to get into it anymore than that.
The baby was measuring small, so our OB wanted us back in at 10-wks to measure again so she could set a proper due date. So, in I went last Tuesday, debating whether August 25th or September 3rd would be the better DD and thinking of when we would find out gender. Wondering if the baby would still look like a bean on the ultrasound or more like a real baby (more like a real baby, turns out). Clearly, I wasn't prepared for the news I got, but I'm not sure you can be. Anyway, the baby's heart had stopped beating and there were visible nuchal fold problems, which indicate chromosomal issues. We went in to the hospital for a procedure the next day.
I am a rational person and I know in my head that it is for the best, if there were problems. Obviously, things happened the way they needed to. I know it in my head but not yet in my heart. I'm getting there.
I know so many friends and family have gone through this, so very many women have to go through this at some point. I appreciate all of the wonderful support and advice we have received, I am thankful for the way this situation has been handled mostly, professionally and personally.
Please know I am not posting this to solicit a lot of replies, which I really, really am not seeking. It's not a task I wish for right now, responding to everyone's emails and calls. I am using the blog as a forum to reach some friends and family who may have known none of this until now, or may have known the happier parts of the story. Also, to let everyone know that I'll be back on the blog/email/phone at some point, but it may just take awhile. Until then, much love. xoxo